The Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards show today is the hottest ticket in L.A., bar none ... and you thought TMZ was the of sign Western civilization was crumbling.
We know people who know people who are going to the show this afternoon at Pauley Pavilion at UCLA. Connected parents have found it impossible to get tickets. These connected parents have called friends who are even more connected who can't get tickets. Those friends have had to call on even more connected friends ... get the picture?
It's so impossible to score a stub -- we're told parents who did get tickets had to go to a "secret location" yesterday to pick them up.
So why all the hubbub? Every actor in town is going, because in H-wood it's all about the demos. We're told a number of actors are dreading the event but know they have to show and will probably get slimed.
Christian Bale went crazy berserk on Peter Griffin -- seriously -- and by some crazy twist of fate, TMZ got our hands on the most friggin' sweet ass unedited clip you've ever heard. WARNING: Video contains explicit language.
The full "Family Guy" episode airs Sunday 9/8c on FOX.
Two strippers have filed a class action lawsuit against several strip clubs, alleging they'd do better financially picking grapes in a field. Demetria Ann Leshay and Roxanne Roberts allege they're basically working for free, dancing at Starz, First King, and King Henry VIII. They claim they're essentially working for tips, and part of that gets kicked back to management. The lawsuit alleges they're not even getting minimum wage. To add insult to injury, they're required to work for five hours at a time without a meal break. Oh, the humanity.
One thing the clubs do pay for: An L.A. county "sheriff's permit" for each girl to bump and grind. You need a sheriff's permit to strip?
Then there's this: The lawyer for the strippers cite a court case, ruling that dancers can be considered full-time employees even though they're "transient" and "lacked specialized skills." Patrons would beg to differ.
That's the buzz after flaccid first-week sales of "A Little Bit Longer," which, according to Billboard, fell short of the big numbers. The projections were for 600k-plus and as many as 725, but they came in at 515,000.
In the perspective department, Lil' Wayne did well over a mil in the first week, but Jordin Sparks -- she won "American Idol," memba? Her grand total -- 119,000.
TMZ has obtained the 911 call when the Universal backlot caught fire, and the dispatcher has a little trouble wrapping her head around the fact that there's such a thing as New York Street in So. Cal.
So everyone knows that Diddy is the new $100 mil brand-builder (don't say spokesman!) for Ciroc vodka -- but a source tells TMZ that the folks who make Ciroc are pissed that he's still quaffing 1800 Tequila like water.
Puff stands to make a fortune from his multi-year Ciroc deal, but the man does love his 1800 -- we hear he's been ordering it everywhere from Nobu to Prive, and Ciroc's parent Diageo -- who paid him to pump out the hooch -- isn't happy.
Neither P.'s peeps nor a Diageo rep got back to us with comment.
Maria Shriver got paid a fortune by NBC over the last three years -- even though she worked exactly once for the network since 2004.
According to "statements of economic interest" filed in Cal-ee-for-nia, NBC shelled out "between $100,000 and $1 million," the L.A. Times reports, in each of the last three years, as part of an "exit agreement. " The network was uncomfortable about Mrs. Schwarzenegger reporting news while Arnold served as Governor and took her off "Dateline NBC" back in February 2004.
NBC felt there was a conflict of interest because she became first lady of Calif. -- so what's the deal with the sweetheart arrangement? Interesting.
Maria's chief of staff, Daniel Zingale, confirmed the payments to the Times, though he didn't indicate what her total windfall was. NBC was mum.
TMZ has learned that a big New York PR shop hired P. Diddy's former chief of staff to be their marketing point man in Sundance -- only to see the guy totally ditch them on the first day of the festival! In a lawsuit filed in New York, 5W Public Relations alleges that Akil Rucker took the post of Director of Marketing -- and a $250,000 budget -- to get the party started for several of the firm's clients at the Sundance Film Festival.
Remember that vid making the rounds of Kanye and Beyonce playing Connect Four in K's dressing room? Looks like Kanye wasn't kidding about being a Connect Four junkie. Pretty sneaky! TMZ has scoped his concert rider, and it demands a Connect Four setup in his dressing room at every show, even though he travels with a set. (Never know when you might lose a black piece!) And even Jay-Z's getting Connect-ed: There's new video of him playing with a pal, too.
Other than that, though, Kanye's list of must-have's is more triathlete than rap star: Lots of grilled chicken, steamed veggies, and lowfat chips. However, you'll be glad to know that the "male band" room has to be stocked with a bottle of hand lotion along with the catering.
In fact, the celebuspawn of Bruce and Demi was picked to be this year's Miss Golden Globes -- which means she'll get to help hand out those shiny gold statues. What could possibly go wrong?
Perhaps it will inspire her to make, er, different decisions about her own acting career.
Rumey will next be seen in the comedy "I Know What Boys Like" -- about a Playboy bunny who gets kicked out of the Mansion and joins a sorority.
The Jackson family is stuck in development hell -- at least their new reality series is. Last spring, CBS ordered 8 episodes of "Pop Dynasty," a competition to find the next superstar music family. Jermaine Jackson was listed as executive producer, and was all set to judge alongside brother Tito and sister LaToya. Then nothing happened.
"It's still in development," producer Steve Kroopnick tells TMZ. "We are hoping it will come to fruition at some point, but right now, nothing is happening ... it is for purely financial reasons."
Reality shows capture real people in their real environs, doing their everyday real things -- with the help of several cameras, boom mics, light filters, multiple takes and story outlines! Lights. Camera. Acting?! Photographers snapped LC and Whitney -- and a few of their closest "Hills" production staff friends -- enjoying lunch on Thursday. Pretend we're not here!
It's just like a documentary -- and wrestling, Jerry Springer and infomercials!
Harvey Levin Verne Troyer's ex claims he's full of big threats. http://su.pr/74RdOz
Pete Wentz Photo: acid washed suede. freeesssshness. http://tumblr.com/xsy3v6w2x
Demi Lovato Believe what you want, love me or hate me. I can't change your mind for you so do what you want! True fans (friends) are here for me forever
Pete Wentz and yo homies dont forget to get the new say anything record. out this week and completely epic.
Sherri Shepherd G'morning. Too early to be cute...geesh... headed out to the Steve Harvey morning show to co-host. Wish me luck (or better say a prayer).
Jonas Brothers, meet jumpable shark. 
So everyone knows that Diddy is the new $100 mil brand-builder (don't say spokesman!) for Ciroc vodka -- but a source tells TMZ that the folks who make Ciroc are pissed that he's still quaffing 1800 Tequila like water.
Maria Shriver got paid a fortune by NBC over the last three years -- even though she worked exactly once for the network since 2004.
Rumer Willis at the Golden Globes? You betcha!
